‘Love moderately, only a line Shakespear would say!
Chantal Graziol’s abuse story is an example of the many abusive relationships people opt to navigate instead of talking and finding the help they need to leave. That’s why loving moderately works, not that you have to try it. But it saves you from unnecessary heartbreak- unpopular opinion
When many people hear that someone is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, their first question is, “Why don’t they leave?” If you’ve never been through an abusive relationship, this sort of response might seem logical. Just throw the deuces up and move on with your life – right? But here’s the thing – when it comes to relationship abuse, it’s never as easy as “just leaving.” Scary? Absolutely!
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce_CD86MRA7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Why do you think people find it hard to leave abusive relationships. You might want to pen this down just in case.
Low self-esteem
Emotional abuse can damage a victim of an abusive relationship and destroy a person’s self-esteem, making it hard to start afresh. Often, victims of emotional abuse will downplay emotional abuse and assume it’s not as bad as physical abuse, but darling, it’s as good as that.
It’s hard for those in abusive relationships to leave their partners after they’ve continuously been made to feel worthless and like there’s no better option for themselves.
After every fight, comes a honeymoon phase
Who doesn’t like the make-up romance? I have seen this particular movie, live! Often, the abuser will mess up, then come apologize, get flowers, and chocolates and try to fix everything. The abuser will promise never to do that, and like a fool, you go running, get some make-up sex, and all over sudden, you come from ‘I will never go back to him to he’s the love of my life,’ and the cycle continues.
ALSO READ: Kuoga na kurudi soko: Are ladies moving on too fast after a break-up?
https://buzz.co.ke/kuoga-na-kurudi-soko-are-ladies-moving-on-too-fast-after-a-break-up/
It is Dangerous to attempt to leave
Most people in abusive relationships are afraid. They are either threatened or simply afraid of their partner. Post-break-up times are the most dangerous in abusive relationships. Some end up being killed, some in hospitals-battered to their deathbeds.
You can surely understand why people just can’t leave.
Ignorance and society normalizing unhealthy behaviors
People in abusive relationships never realize they are in one. They are used to unhealthy toxic behaviors in their friendships, families, and other social settings.
They just find it normal, hence no need to seek help.
Society Perpetuates a ride-or-die mindset
Those in unhealthy or abusive relationships might stay with their partner or get back together after a breakup because they feel pressure to not give up, forgive and forget or “ride it out.” Pop culture glamorizes being a “ride-or-die” for your friends and partner, making people out to be in the wrong for leaving their partner. And while being loyal is a great thing, a good friend or partner would never endanger or hurt you.
It is hard to escape the cycle of control
Reminds me of a friend I helped leave her toxic boyfriend only to go back running to him the next day! People in abusive relationships often attempt to break up with their partner several times before the breakup sticks. On average, a person in an abusive relationship will attempt to leave 5 times before finally leaving for good or never.