Friday, March 31, 2023

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    The Enabler

    Enabler” is a term usually used to refer to the person in a relationship whose behavior allows the other person they are in a relationship with to continue bad, harmful, or even self-destructive patterns of behavior.

    These relationships can be either;
    -Family relationships
    -Romantic relationships
    -Sexual relationships
    -Work relationships

    It could be family members enabling a drug habit, a workmate enabling a toxic work environment, a friend enabling self-destructive behavior, or even a romantic partner enabling disrespect and abuse.

    Let’s focus on Romantic Relationships;


    Enabling vs Empowerment
    It’s not always easy to distinguish between empowering someone and enabling them. There may be little difference between the two.

    Most people who enable loved ones don’t intend to cause harm. In fact, enabling generally begins with the desire to help. Enabling behaviors can often seem like helping behaviors. You may try to help with the best intentions and enable someone without realizing it. Enabling could be also any situation where you “help” by attempting to hide problems or make them go away.

    This help is ultimately not helpful, as it usually doesn’t make a problem entirely go away. It often makes it worse since an enabled person has less motivation to make changes if they keep getting the help that reduces their need to make a change.

    Let’s take for instance Mr. 2face Idibia’s marriage. He is a legendary Nigerian singer who got his big break in the early 2000s following the release of his hit single ‘African Queen’ “. He is married to one Annie Macaulay–Idibia, a Nigerian model, presenter, and actress who was nominated in the “Best Supporting Actress” category at the 2009 Best of Nollywood Awards.

    Annie had been in his life before he became famous. During the course of their relationship, he has cheated multiple times which resulted in a couple of children from a couple of women—not counting the ones who did not get pregnant.  Despite all this, Annie and 2face welcomed a daughter in 2008, got married in May 2012, and welcomed one more daughter in January 2014.

    Shortly after he proposed again to Annie and renewed their vows to mark their 10-year anniversary, Idibia recently found himself in a scandal rumored to involve yet another pregnancy.

    Annie unfollowed her husband earlier this year in may leaving fans to speculate there might have been cracks in the marriage.

    Mr. Idibia recently took to his socials and wrote, “This is no stunt, I’m sorry for all the embarrassment I’ve caused my wife, my kids, my mother, and all our families and my management team. I’m not looking for no sympathy, I’m not trying to make myself look good. This is no reverse psychology bullshit. I simply just don’t want to be the one that always apologise.

    Now, have you found yourself enabling habits? Are you the enabled?

    And what do you think about Annie’s situation?

    Is she an enabler or just a loyal wife?




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